Sigh....

So I feel that I should preface this post by saying that Jack is a wonderful baby. He is genuinely good, rarely cries, usually sleeps well, and always has a smile on his face. But even with all of that, there are times when this is HARD. Times when I feel so exhausted I just want to curl up in bed and never leave. But I do. For him. And for Robert. And I guess for me. :)

This semester seems to be hitting me harder than the previous with Jack. It was honestly easier to get school work done while recovering from a delivery that left me in bits and pieces with 50 stitches to mend. Because back then the boy was sleeping. And when he was awake he was, you know, NOT MOBILE. This semester I can't seem to get any work done at home, but when I am away I feel guilty for many different reasons. And while I'm not ashamed to admit the difficulty of being a mom, a student, and part-time employee, something about admitting how hard it is makes me feel like I am complaining. My life is so full in so many ways, and it makes me so happy. I appreciate every moment I have with Robert and Jack, but finding the balance between home and school/work is not easy. Some days I feel like there is nothing left of me for myself.

I realize this is compounded right now with Jack teething. During the day he is pretty much normal, but at night he wakes up every hour, crying until you hold him, waking again as soon as you put him down. We have tried pretty much everything to no avail. What works one night doesn't work the next and so forth. Robert and I are both about to crack. That's one thing about having an easy baby...you get used to your sleep and your schedule, and when that's off it knocks everything out of whack.

I continue to remain optimistic that tonight will be the night he sleeps again. That tomorrow I will cross just one thing off my to do list that is growing by the minute. That if I can make it through November I will finally get a rest. A relief. And some time to enjoy my family and hopefully return to the wife/mother they enjoy.